What does it mean to be "pastoral"? To many Catholics today, it means nothing more than, "being nice". In other words, in their perspective, if a priest is acting "pastoral" then he will never tell you that you are wrong, and he will always do whatever you ask him. Although I wish I was exaggerating, I am not. Many believe that if there is a rule that is hard to obey, it is "pastoral" for a priest to compromise the faith and tell you to "go ahead" and not do it. Aside from the fact that this is pretty much the opposite of being "pastoral" it is a grave sin for a priest to do this.
Pope John Paul II said in Veritatis Splendor: “On this basis, an attempt is made to legitimize so-called ‘pastoral’ solutions contrary to the teaching of the Magisterium, and to justify a ‘creative’ hermeneutic according to which the moral conscience is in no way obliged, in every case, by a particular negative precept.” In this statement, he clearly rejected this idea that morality is flexible. The way some clergymen deal with morality, it appears as though they believe everyone in the world has a unique situation and thus does not need to obey.
What is the definition of the word "pastoral" anyway? "Pastoral" comes from the same word from which we get our word, "pasture"; in other words, it has to do with shepherding, and thus a pastor is a shepherd. Properly, in order to be "pastoral", a priest must behave like a shepherd. He must stop his sheep from killing themselves. He must feed them with good healthy food. He must guide them to places that are safe for them. And, he must help them to flourish.
Whenever I hear someone say that a clergyman is not being "pastoral" I wonder what they mean by that. All too often today people use the term "pastoral" to mean doing "what I want", and not doing what is good and right in a gentle but firm manner. There are a number of places in Church rules that say a priest can do something if "there is a pastoral need". That is supposed to mean, "if it would be better for the people's eternal salvation", but I have heard "pastoral need" defined as "what the people want".
If we remember the "shepherding" aspect of pastoral care, then we have to remember also that, "what the sheep want", is not always best for them. A shepherd will not always give his sheep what they want, because it might hurt them. He will correct them, and point them in the right direction. If they refuse to listen to him, then they usually suffer for it (and the shepherd does too, but most sheep are unaware of that). Pray for your shepherds; pray that they would be (rightly) "pastoral".